What the hell is wrong with NFL owners?!
There seems to be an epidemic of stupid that’s affecting some NFL franchises. For unexplained reasons this phenomenon happens every year to some of the same teams and strikes at the heart of a few new teams. So far as I can tell this plague of ‘dumbassedness’ stems from the problem that faces every football team at one point or another; how to (re)build a solid team from now on into the future? Despite what many people may think, write, and/or do there is a very simple formula to building a strong football franchise. In this article I’ll outline what this simple formula is and then give examples of those teams that get it and those that don’t.
Let’s start with a scenario most football fans dream of quite often. Your dream has just come true! You managed to think of a cure for cancer while cleaning up your living room after your annual superbowl party and you’ve made a billion dollars almost overnight. Naturally you look for the cheapest football franchise to buy, collect some cooperate sponsors, make some legal connections, and now you’re the new owner of the Oakland Raiders or St. Louis Rams or Jacksonville Jaguars. So what do you do to turn around this franchise? Glad you asked my friend, here is my step-by-step guide to building a lasting and successful football franchise.
1) Hire a GM that knows football and knows finances. A strong GM is a football team’s most valuable person and he/she needs to be one of your smartest people (I’ll attach a copy of my resume at the end of this article). This person must know how to evaluate talent effectively and how to sign players for the lowest possible amount of money. What separates a good GM from a great one is how and who they draft (cheers to Bill Polian and Ozzie Newsome). Above all your GM should be concerned with keeping your franchise in the black, and you do that by putting a consistently good product on the field. If you fail to hire a good GM you won’t make any money and you won’t win many games. Fail to hire a good GM and you will NEVER have a good football franchise.
2) Unless you’ve inherited a good coach and coaching staff (and you probably won’t, because the team you’ve just bought most likely sucks) you’ll have to find a new one. HIRE A DEFENSIVE COACH!!!! This is by far the second most important step. Call it step 1b. I cannot understand why some franchises hire ‘offensive gurus’ to rebuild their teams (I’m talking to you Kansas City and Denver). The best thing to hang your hat on in December and January, the thing you can count on to get you through those tough games, the only thing that will keep you competitive while you’re upgrading your team’s talent is a solid, snot-bubble inducing, sure tackling defense. Build a good defense QB’s like Trent Dilfer and Brad Johnson, can win you a superbowl and QB’s like Rex Grossman can get you to one (not to knock these guys, but they’re not the most gifted QB’s). Defense is about discipline, hard work, and toughness. These are characteristics you’ll need most on your team when rebuilding. Chances are the team you bought lacks these fundamental characteristics and rarely do offensive coaches exude the kind of character your team can emulate (Norv Turner, Scott Lenihann, Todd Haley, and Bobby Petrino aren’t the types of guys that make you want to strap it on and knock someone silly).
3) Get young, talented, and deep on the o-line. What did Joey Harrington and David Carr have in common? They both had the misfortune of going to football franchises that, for three years, neglected this rule. Say what you want about their respective talent levels (chances are you were slurping one or both of these guys coming out of college), these guys were under constant pressure their entire brief starting careers. The quickest way to ruin a potential franchise quarterback is put him behind a second string o-line for 16 games. Why some teams pay $30+ million guaranteed to a 20 something year old signal caller, but don’t pay to protect their investment I don’t understand. That’s like dropping coin on a Ferrari Enzo, parking it in a dark alley with the windows down and the keys in the ignition. The difference between Joey Harrington and Matt Ryan might be a solid o-line (and rule number 4, but don’t skip ahead just yet).
The other reasons for having a young, talented, and deep o-line is that they’re relatively cheap and they last a long time. Aside from your left tackle you won’t have to pay your o-line as much money as your star receiver(s) or running back(s). The only players that last longer in this league than o-lineman are kickers. Get a solid o-line and you’ve got a competitive offense for ten years, and that’s almost regardless of who’s running, throwing, or catching. Speaking of running…
4) Establish a solid running game. Notice how you can’t do this without rule number 3? Hmmmm... Nowadays there are several different ways to establish a good running game. You can have one main back, two backs with different styles, a committee of three, or you can do what the Patriots and Eagles do and run screens and dump off passes all day long. My preference is somewhere between the first and second option. You’ll probably need a back the opposing defense would rather not deal with 20-30 times a game (MoJo Drew, AD, Brandon Jacobs [just ask LeRon Landry], or Steven Jackson). To make things even more difficult for the defense it wouldn’t hurt to have change of pace back that gasses an already tired D while realigning some ankle bones in the process (i.e. Leon Washington, Darren Sproles, Reggie Bush, or Kevin Falk). Consider an effective running game the equivalent of a consistent jab to the body in a boxing match.
5) Draft a QB that knows and loves football as much as his own mother. Notice I didn’t say sign a QB through free agency, or trade for a veteran. I also didn’t say nab the QB that can through a football 60yds in the air from his knees (check out my draft guide article for more on that). Grabbing a veteran might be an effective way of securing a solid signal caller, but chances are if a team has the right guy they won’t let him go (unless you’re Josh McDaniels and think Matt Cassel is a better QB than Jay Cutler). If you want to ensure that your offense is in good hands for the next decade then you need to have a QB from the start of his career. Your franchise grows through him so better to have as much influence on him as possible. And one last point: if you don’t have rules 1-4 in order, DON’T START HIM AS A ROOKIE! You’ll have about much chance winning with a 22 year old QB with no o-line, no running game, and no defensive support as you would giving the keys of a semi to an 8 year old and asking him to deliver 2 tons of candy cross country.
And that’s it folks. Only five rules. I told you it was simple. It’s not rocket science, or brain surgery, it’s football. Yes, the game has changed, but the teams that win haven’t. The secret is great management, solid coaching, a strong defense, a solid running game, and a dependable and efficient QB. And I’m talking about winning 10+ games a year for ten years, not putting together teams built to ‘win now’ (Mr. Snyder). So, now that you know how it’s done, let’s take a look at some of the worst football franchises today and why they’ve set themselves up to fail for years to come. This list is not made of teams that don’t win games, necessarily; this list is made up of organizations that are doing the wrong things to become a consistently good franchise.
1) The Oakland Raiders: this has got to be the worst football franchise right now. The latest example of this team’s incredible football stupid is drafting Darius Hayeward-bey with the 7th pick in the 2009 draft (Michael Crabtree was still on the board in case you didn’t know). This criticism is more about the spot Hayeward-Bey was taken and less about the player’s talent (although I think he’s a number 2 WR at best). Everyone knows Al Davis (a.k.a. Darth Vader, a.k.a. Skeletor) loves speed, but the all mighty evil one also loves sacrificing his team’s success for players that can run fast. If football championships were determined by how many players you had that could run a sub 4.4 40, then the Raiders would be the Steelers. Speed kills, but stupid kills faster and the Raiders are dying superfast. They fail because they don’t have a good GM (the Dark Lord), they don’t and haven’t had consistent coaching, and they can’t stop the run. This is a team no one wants to play for (check Richard Seymor’s blood pressure when you ask him how he felt when he got traded) and it’s because the team has no direction and no identity. Physical talent alone doesn’t win in this league, but Davis thinks that’s all you need. Good luck with that philosophy sir. Will you be home late January, it’ll be my birthday then and I told my nephews I knew where Voldemort lived. Wait, what a stupid question, of course you’ll be home.
2) The Kansas City Chiefs: remember that commercial where the grounds keeper panted ‘Chefs’ in the endzone instead of Chiefs and then exclaimed ‘Great Googlymoogly’ (my father and I laughed for about twenty minutes the first time we saw that)? Well that’s how I feel about the Chefs (no it’s not a typo). Okay, fair enough, Herm Edwards and (the GM) were on their way out and maybe it was time for a change, but let’s examine who you brought in to build your franchise. Scott Pioli, not bad poaching the Pats GM, but remember that the Pats organization doesn’t let people go unless they can afford them, and usually only when they’re not as good as other people think (buy low, sell high). The chiefs’ owner may think he’s gotten ‘the guy’ in Scott Peolli, but if Peolli is that good then why would the Pats let him go?
The chief’s biggest mistake, and one that will take several years to correct, was hiring Todd Haley as their coach. I don’t understand why owners and GM’s get so geeked over offensive coordinators that have success with great offensive players. Let’s see here, I’ve got the best receiver duo in the league and a former superbowl and league MVP at QB and, somehow, through my genius as a coach, I managed to have a very successful season. Please. Hats off to anyone who can coach successfully as an assistant in the NFL, but making the jump to head coach is like making the jump from regional manger to CEO. As a head coach you have to manage everything not just the x’s and o’s. If you don’t have a strong personality and a strong will you don’t win over the players. If you want to know how strong Todd Haley’s personality is look no further than the sideline tiff he had with Anquan Boldin last season. You think anyone dared yell at Mike Holemgren, Bill Cower, Jeff Fisher, Bill Parcells, Mike Tomlin, Tony Tungy, Bill Billechk, Bill Walsh or Mike Singletary like that? Getting yelled at doesn’t bode well for your ability to command a team. This hire is really unfortunate because the chiefs have a talented and young defense, but they don’t have a strong willed coach or a solid leader on the team. Oh, and one of there best offensive players, LJ, can be a difficult person to manage when unhappy. Good luck coach.
The last mistake the chiefs made was their offseason acquisition at quarterback, Matt Cassel. I’m not sure why all of a sudden this guy goes from perennial backup to franchise QB in just one season. Yes, he did lead the patriots to 11 wins last season, but that was with the patriots not the chiefs. Yes, no one expected he would be as poised and productive as he was, but remember this guy hadn’t started a game since high school because he couldn’t take the job away from Matt Lienart when at USC nor Tom Brady when with the Pats. Yes, this guy was picked by the Patriots, the same team who saw something special in Tom Terrific, but he was drafted to be the backup and the patriots felt secure enough to let him go. Check rule number five for more info on why this was a stupid move.
All in all it’s going to be a few more years before the chiefs get on the right track. They may have found the right GM, but they mortgaged the future on a QB that had one good season with the best-run franchise in the league (and Randy Moss). They hired a coach who’s specialty is not the team’s strength, defense, and who managed to have success with an offense most decent coordinators would have to be drunk to do worse with. Not looking good for KC fans.
3) The Washington Redskins. Let’s get this out of the way right now; Dan Snyder is an idiot when it comes to building a solid football team. It’s quite unbelievable that a man who spends the money he does without getting the return he wants continues to through money at the problem. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Every year Snyder spends the most money and draft picks on free agents in order to take that imaginary next step to the superbowl he thinks his team is close to. Who ever told him he was just a first round pick trade and a $100 million contract (hello Mr. Hanesworth) away from the big one should be slapped. Hopefully he told himself that and we can get a back hand in.
It’s clear Snyder hasn’t read the five rules to building a successful team, but what’s more amazing is that he’s in a division where the three other teams have followed these rules to the letter and had much more success (5 NFC championship games and a superbowl trophy. I can think of few more truly incompetent ways of running a franchise than the way Dan Snyder has conducted football business since his ownership. What makes matters worse is the plethora of talent the Skins have. They have a solid defense, a solid running game, and a QB that can manage a game. The thing they don’t have is a team identity, like the other teams in their division. The Redskins are a hodgepodge of talent that gets reshuffled every year; they have no chemistry, and no continuity. So, whom do the skins hire to right the ship? Why Jim Zorn, the quarterback’s coach from the Seattle Seahawks who’s never had any assistant or head coaching experience. Brilliant!
The redskins have had regular season success and stumbled in the playoffs. They’re a tough team to face, but they make this list because for the talent they have and the money their owner spends on players they should be in the NFC championship game every year. No, actually they make this list because for some reason Dan Snyder thinks that spending money on veterans while giving up draft picks and hiring an offensive coach is the way to build a team while the other teams in his division have more success following a proven formula. How can someone with this much money be this stupid?
And now I’ve saved the best for last. These next three organizations are the best in the league and the ones you hope your son gets drafted to. Not surprisingly in the last nine years these teams have won a combined 5 superbowls. Let’s examine why each one is great. You listening Danny boy?
1) The New England Patriots. Where should we begin? Let’s not talk about the fact that this team has won three superbowls and been in four with a 6th round QB. Let’s not talk about how this team nearly went a perfect 19-0 had it not been for one of the most insane catches in football history. Let’s not talk about how this team acquired one of the top five receivers of all time for a fifth round draft pick (from, surprise surprise, the Raiders). Let’s not even mention the fact that they’ve dominated their division for the last 8 years. Let’s talk about the fact that year after year the patriots acquire top talent and top draft picks, which enables them to get good and stay good for cheap. The year after the patriots won their third superbowl they had two, count them, two first round draft picks; the first of which was the fifth overall pick! Are you kidding me?! Just this week they dealt one of their best players to the raiders for a first round pick in 2011’s draft, which, given the raiders position on my list of worst teams, should be a top ten pick. The reason they were able to deal Richard Seymore was because they have a surplus of depth and talent at that position. How did they get such talent and depth? By drafting smart (here that Mr. Snyder? I know it’s so much harder to think than just throw money at who seems to be the best player at the time).
Now Bill is a sly and maybe shady guy when it comes to obeying certain league rules, but you can’t argue with the fact that he puts a great team on the field every Sunday and that players love playing for him. He has a strong personality and he commands respect. The Pats are his team and if you step out of line you’re gone, no questions, no apologies, just good-bye and good luck. The Pats are good now and they’ll be good for years because they spend less, spend smart, draft smart, and handle the business of football as well as they handle the x’s and o’s. Best. Franchise. In. The. League.
2) The Pittsburgh Steelers. Is their any other team you wouldn’t want to face on a given Sunday? I hear the name Steelers and I reach for the smelling salt (Willis McGahee in the 2008 playoffs comes to mind). There’s a reason why this team has won a record 6 superbowls (being a niners fan it hurts me to write that) and the reason couldn’t be more simple. The Steelers will hit you hard, they will run the football well, they will stop the run, they will draft smart and cheap, they will hire the right coaches (only three in the history of the franchise, think about that for a second), and when they’re done doing that they will hit you again but harder this time. You know, that’s all the explanation that’s needed; let’s move on to the last team.
3) The Indianapolis Colts. Does anyone draft smarter than Bill Polian (maybe Ozzie Newsome of the Ravens, except for that whole Boller fiascoe)? I didn’t consider the choice between Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf a difficult one at the time, but many people did. Fortunately Polian made the right choice and selected one of the five best QBs in the history of football (Ryan Leaf was recently arrested for burglary and drug possession. Biggest bust in the history of football).
Remember when Tariq Glenn suddenly retired at the end of the 2006 season and everyone thought the colt’s offensive magic was over because there was no one to protect Manning’s blind side. Hello Tony Ugoh, step right in, you’ll do fine. Eddrin James out the door you say, no problem, let’s grab LSU back Joseph Addai late in the first (because that’s where we always draft). Joseph Addai showing some troubling signs in the durability department, no problem, Donald Brown (NCAA’s leading rusher in 2008) welcome to the colts. Marvin Harrison no longer with the team, how about Anthony Gonzales, a receiver we’ve been grooming to take the starting role. So we need a better defense you say. How about a 5’7” wrecking ball by the name of Bob Sanders from Iowa? And while we’re here let’s grab that TE, what’s his name, Dallas Clark, yeah, that’ll do. Most importantly let me hire one of the best coaches this league has ever seen, Tony Dungy; a man that aside from his unconventionally calm sideline demeanor commands the type of respect and leadership a time needs. Wait, he’s retiring? No problem, just promote his long time assistant head coach Jim Caldwell. The colts have won 11 or more games every year for the past six years. Read that again but slower this time. They don’t always put up the best defensive numbers, but I guarantee you’d rather play the Jags than the Colts on any given Sunday.
Honorable mention: Titans and Ravens
So, as you can see building a successful football team is quite simple indeed. Unfortunately for some however, building a successful team requires more than a lot of money, the latest trends, and talented veterans. The best teams, like the best investors, spend less, spend smart, plan for the future, and have a clear and disciplined approach. Take heed all you aspiring GMs and owners, the path to football success is not easy, but it is most certainly clear.
